With Halloween creeping upon us and with
ghoulish movies and TV shows coming to the fore, I thought I would start with
some real-life stories and finish with aptly named drinks.
Looking at the not so horrifying “horror”
stories from my life, there were several candidates, and all appear wanting for
various reasons. I imagine that many of
you, upon reflection, could do as well or better.
War stories were the low hanging
fruit. My father, a combat veteran of
WWII and Vietnam, told many tales. Once
he spoke of being in charge of a detail in the Philippines, during the closing
days of WWII, whose duty was to exhume soldiers, recently and hastily buried,
for return to their families. A grisly task. Protective
equipment consisted of gas masks – his worst wartime experience and too grim to
expand upon.
Next I considered sharing something
"scary" of my own – like a failed attempt at first aid at the scene
of a stabbing - steak knife through the carotid, definitely DRT "Dead
Right There" (not to be confused with CTD "Circling the Drain") –
again too grim.
Seeking a lighter side, I trod the murky
corners of my brain for other experiences.
I once worked as a night security guard in
a medical complex in San Antonio, Texas.
At twilight, in a dark and deserted medical building, I was checking
locks on doors. Finding one unlocked, I entered to check the office. Immediately in front of me was a
skeleton. I will admit to being briefly
startled – story too short and too dull.
Then there are the cemeteries I have
visited, a must wherever I travel. I
have always said that cemeteries are people at their best – everyone getting
along without regard for race, color, creed, or politics. There are great cemeteries, large and small,
all over the north and south. In the
southwest, many appear a
bit plain, but often have a stark beauty of their
own. At one clinic, in a dusty, dreary
community, I would occasionally go to the nearby cemetery and eat lunch under
the trees. Very peaceful and the
permanent residents were excellent luncheon companions. No ghosts, noises or other signs of haunting –
so a poor story.
Alternatively, while employed in a
hospital, I became adept at placing the deceased into body bags by myself. If that sounds easy, try it with a large
individual, whose body is all "loosey-goosey," not stiff as a post, laying
on a stretcher. After "bagging and
tagging," I would take them to the "green room," our morgue,
which was actually painted blue. To move
the body through the hospital without disturbing the sensibilities of patients
and visitors, we had a special gurney.
It had a metal lower shelf to place the body upon and an upper frame that was flat. A large white,
form-fitted drape was put over the top, giving the gurney the appearance of a
rolling banquet table. While prepping
the body, bagging, and transporting to the morgue, I kept up a monologue with
the deceased. I spoke of events
precipitating demise, visitors if any, where we were going and how we would get
there. After placing the departed upon a
shelf, with others, I extended my best wishes and left. None of my charges ever replied, or called upon
me later – so that is a story of that takes the "long way around the
barn" to be mundane.
Then there was the Halloween party with the
theme "come as your favorite doctor or patient." The most memorable costume was that of a
nurse who came dressed in a body bag as one of our "frequent flyers"
who finally managed to buy the proverbial farm. Stories like that are too tasteless for lay
people, and unless you have worked in an ER, law enforcement, or similar field,
you will not understand the need to laugh at otherwise grim affairs.
Having established that
"real-life" death is unfit for human consumption (but O.K. for
zombies?); let us have some fun with drinks with death themes.
The first drink is "The Requiem." Now
for you non-Catholics out there, a Requiem or Requiem Mass, is a prayer service
for the dead. Its name comes from the
opening line of the mass “Requiem
aeternam dona eis" or "grant them rest forever..." From the Requiem we also get "Requiescant in pace," “May they rest in peace” – the familiar R.I.P.
on tombstones. The Requiem we are
interested in is from The Flowing Bowl, 1898, by Willie Schmidt. It is a
tasty mixed drink, rather like eggnog. The only addition to the recipe that I
would recommend is a dash of nutmeg on top.
Following the Requiem, it is only natural to use a "Corpse Reviver" to get those synapses firing and animate
our burned out, lifeless bodies.
By 1861, the Corpse Reviver was deemed "a celebrated drink." A creation of the London Haymarket district,
it was billed as an American drink. In
fact, about 1878 the famous bartender/author Jerry Thomas mocked the purveyors
of liquor around Charing Cross for selling English drinks as American
drinks. He went on to say that he was
about to open an American bar in London "and show the Britishers what's
what. Then there'll be no need to brew bogus Yankee drinks!"
Recipes courtesy Boothby's World Drinks, 1934 |
Now that we have had our Requiem, and our Corpse Reviver, it seems appropriate to follow with the “Zombie.”
I have no interest in the flesh-eating ghouls of modern television and
cinema. Everyone growing up in the
1950's knows that a "real" zombie is merely a person, living or dead,
under the control of a voodoo priest or priestess. No flesh eating, no rotting body parts,
pretty much a boring minion of the possessor.
My preferred zombie, that of the
"classic" black and white movies of the 1930’s, is indeed the only
genuine zombie, so a pox on the rest of you.
As proof, I offer a Life
magazine article. We are cognizant that
anything printed in a major periodical by reputable authors must be true – why
else would anyone read the Sun or the
Mirror? In December of 1937, Life magazine did an article entitled "Black Haiti: Where Old
Africa and the New World Meet." Included
is a photo by to "Zora Neale Hurston, Negro author with a Guggenheim
scholarship…" and described as "the only zombie ever
photographed." According to the author, the person/zombie died (or was
drugged into a coma) and buried in 1907, returning "naked and
demented" to her fathers farm in 1916. From the photo, she is clearly not
decomposing or shedding body parts.
Indeed, with her unkempt appearance and her blank stare, she looks like
the zombies in those classic movies. Prima
facie evidence that the old zombies my generation knew are the only genuine
zombies.
As to the drink, the “Zombie” was the invention of Donn "the Beachcomber"
Beach, who created it in the 1930's. Originally, it was sold no more than two
to a customer. Its claim to fame lies in
its potency. I can testify to this. In my youth, when so many of us have manure
for brains, I ill advisedly downed a dozen in a chug-a-lug contest in Juarez,
Mexico, after an evening of drinking. Fortunately,
I did not drive nor ended up in a hospital.
After trying to pick a fight with a group of soldiers, it was the
sickest night of my life (the cabrito burritos probably did not help) and I
gave up any sort of drinking for almost five years.
The "Zombie," like so many drinks, has metastasized into many
versions over the years. I have chosen a
version "from the land down under" – Australia, courtesy of The Australian Bartender's Guide,
Stebben & Corsar, 1990. While not the most elaborate of Zombies, it is one easily made in the
home bar and I would suggest no more than one to a customer. In addition, the Juarez Zombies were blue, so if you want a 1960’s South of the Border
version, substitute blue curacao.
Enjoy your Halloween celebrations and, please, remember "If you drink, don't drive."